As we are in the throws of love month - and because chocolate is now 1/2 price - I feel like it's a good time to toss this topic at you.
What do you do when you're single on Valentines day?
Well I'll tell you what I've decided to do, first I went and bought myself some of that 1/2 price fancy chocolate, because I'm a grown ass woman who takes care of her damn self...and because mmm chocolate. But I have also spent the month treating myself differently.
Those of you who know me are likely rolling your eyes right now because "Alicia all you talk about is self care and caring for your mental health, we get it you're all zen and stuff god". Real talk tho guys - IT IS HARD TO BE HAPPY 24/7...actually scratch that IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY 24/7 (yeah that's right bold and italics for emphasis). The key I have found is to focus on the happy stuff so you can drown out the negative. So here are a few things I suggest to help yourself love yourself when you're single AF and surrounded by lovey dovey coupley crap.
1) Listen to your own needs.
This one is HARD friends. Like legit hard! As someone who is struggling with weird medical stuff and fighting pain it's very hard to keep smiling and to keep putting a positive spin on things. But I do it, because I take the time to listen to what my body needs me to do - wrist hurts? don't take the 1 hr drive out of town you were planning. exhausted because pain woke you up in the middle in the night? clear your schedule and take a nap. It is important to listen to what your body is telling you, now I'm not saying that it's ok to blow off everything in your life just because your body is sore. We're adults we need to handle our stuff but it is ok to take stock of the messages your body is sending you and adjust accordingly. In my case that meant saying sorry to a friend when I had prebooked a day trip because I just couldn't face the 1 hr drive (that's 2 hours round trip people) again after having made that trek for a doctors appointment earlier this week.
2) Treat. Yo. Self!
In the month of February we are inundated with advertisements proclaiming that love is the best, That you should be in love, that being alone is terrible. And quite frankly when you're seeing that day in and day out all around you it can definitely start to feel like that. It can begin to feel like you are the loneliest person on the planet. Fun fact - dating app use spikes around Valentines day. (for me too guys, I'm not that enlightened) This is likely because we are so surrounded by coupley crap that in the month of February we swipe more often in a frantic attempt to find a date for the red and pinkest of the holidays. So here is my solution to combat that, treat yourself! get yourself a gift this month. Splurge a little of something you might not normally buy (I mean stay within your means here people - we still have to live after February), grab yourself a treat. And ignore the Starbucks app on your phone that shoves the "Valentines Special promo - buy 1 get 1 for your sweetheart, because hello free coffee for you - they won't know you're not going to drink it yourself. BOGO promos are the greatest when you're single because then you don't have to share.
3) Go on a date.
I know what you're thinking..umm Alicia I'm single AF how am I supposed to go on a date. Thing is I don't mean a date in the traditional sense, I mean go on a date with yourself. I am the first to tell you that this is not the easiest thing to do. For me, even though I consider myself to be an independent person, there are things that I feel like you can't do alone. So I decided to challenge myself. I took myself out to a movie. And I didn't go half way either, I decided to treat it as I would any other date, so I put on makeup, did my hair (thanks Meaghan for the fresh cut), and wore a cute outfit. This is saying something since working from home has drastically lowered by standards for day to day life. For the record I'm a great date, I treated myself to popcorn, I didn't hog the armrest, I brought a giant scarf to use as a blanket because the movie theatre is always cold...legit I'm amazing. Here is the thing though, this was hard for me to do and because I was challenging myself I decided to do it the hard way. I didn't pre-book my movie ticket, I forced myself to walk up to the counter and buy my ticket for Isn't it Romantic (great movie btw, super funny) and smile and nod when the teenage cashier asked "just you?". It was enlightening to me to do this alone and to go against what I had preconceived in my mind as something that you did in couples or groups. I went alone and I had a blast.
4) Finally, give yourself more credit.
Take a second each day to recognize that you're amazing and that even if you're single now you're not likely to be single forever. The dating game is rough in 2019, swiping on a persons picture is a really dumb way to get to know someone, and frankly having coupley nonsense shoved in your face for a month is enough to make anyone go a little crazy on the 1/2 priced chocolate.
You are you and that is perfect.
You didn't think I was going to get through an entire blog post without a gif did you? HA
- fun fact -
I send a Ralphie Wiggam waving gif as my opening line on Bumble, because if you say no to that adorable face you are a garbage human that doesn't deserve me anyway